The Anti-Ashamnu (To be sung to the tune of "Ashamnu")

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The Anti-Ashamnu
(To be sung to the tune of "Ashamnu")

ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ….....

Not my fault
It wasn’t me
It wasn’t so bad
He deserved it

ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ….....

Everyone was doing it
It didn’t hurt anybody
Get over it already
You’re too sensitive

ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ….....

It’s just the way I am
Nobody’s perfect
I had to 
I needed to
I couldn’t pass it up
Think of everything really good that I do
I had the best of intentions
It’s not nearly as bad 
as what a lot of other people 
get away with every day

ai ai ai ai ai ai ai ….....

Just look at it from my perspective
Think of everything I’ve gone through
I never claimed to be a saint
Why won’t you
Forgive me 
already?

(note to the perplexed: "Ashamnu" (mp3) is an alphabetical confessional prayer for Yom Kippur, in which we declare, "We are guilty, We have betrayed; We have stolen; We have spoken maliciously; etc. etc. etc." - one declaration of guilt for every letter of the Hebrew alphabet. Singing Ashamnu repeatedly on Yom Kippur functions as a training program for us to admit our mistakes - because otherwise, most of us would reflexively respond with evasions of guilt such as those in the "anti-Ashamnu," above, that I shared with my congregation last Yom Kippur.)

Shanah tovah!

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On a related note, here's a great High Holy Days video from Ikar LA:

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